Vulcan Stev's Database

It's a BLOG Captain, but not as we know it.

Ask me Anything: Dreams, Favorites, & Cancer

Questions Asked, Questions answered.  Ask me anything, seriously.

Q. Have you ever dreamed of flying? Having your teeth crumble or fall out? Taking a test at school…and realizing you haven’t studied or even attended class? That you can’t fit in your car comfortably, or suddenly can’t see through the windshield?
A. You just described last night’s dream.

Q. Can you describe three ways to measure the height of a building with a barometer? If so, what are they?
A.It’s been 25 years since High School… How about this; climb to the top of the building. Tie a very long string to the barometer. Throw the barometer off the side of the building. When the string stops moving measure the string.

Q. John de Lancie or Desmond Llewelyn?
A. Q vs Q? Two completely different alphabets so to speak. I’d rather have Desmond’s Q on my side. But I wouldn’t want to do anything to pop on John Q’s radar.

Q. Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day or Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage! blow! You cataracts and hurricanes, spout?
Is there a level beyond “Blow winds…?”  I have ALWAYS loved storms.  The more thunder and lightning the better.

Q. Embarrassed I even know my sign or I’ll get back to you after I check my horoscope?
A. I was born under the sign ‘Hospital’

Q. Complete the following phrase: “It’s all in the…” 1.) way you make me feel; 2.) wrist; 3.) Game; 4.) reflexes.
A. reflexes – Jack Burton

Q. Ambiguous questions?
A. purple onions

Q. What would be a good name for a band?
A. Anxiety in the Hallway

Q. Do you have a stupid joke that never gets old?
A. Why did the man put the car in the oven? No it’s not because he wanted a hot rod it’s because the cake was in the garage. That’s for all the Floppy fans out there.

Q. When’s the last time you visited a museum, and which one? What’s your favorite museum?
A. Don’t know the last time I actually visited a museum, but my favorite is a toss-up between the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago and Living History Farm in Des Moines

Q. Sushi y/depends/no way!?
A. If it’s part of a buffet then maybe… but I don’t go somewhere just to eat sushi

Q. What is your wife sick with? Sorry if this brings up pain.
A. Last year my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. After a complete mastectomy and months of chemotherapy she was declared cancer free and taken off the chemo. Now 8 months later we have been informed that the cancer has returned and overwhelmed the liver. Doc says it is both incurable and inoperable. No worries about the pain, I’m still in shock.   The complete chronicle of blog posts is here.

Q. Ok, so it’s Pizza. What toppings?
A. I used to work in a Pizzeria. I came up with a pizza I named the Cannonball “Pepperoni, Italian sausage, Black Olives, Mushrooms, and Onions.

Q. You have the opportunity to build (or re-build) your house. What type (and size) structure do you opt for?
A. Something roomy enough for the family and occasional gaming group but small enough to easily keep clean

Q. Funniest show you ever saw?
A. M*A*S*H

Q. A stranger walks up an offers you a briefcase containing $10 million, no strings attached. Would you accept? What would it depend on?
A. Right now? no strings attached? Yes! I’ve got medical bills to pay.

Q. Favorite cheesy movie?
A. It depends on your definition of cheesy, but “Big Trouble in Little China” would probably be at the top.

Q. Three Stooges: classic comedy, they have their moments, or people who find this funny have something wrong with them?
A. Classic comedy nyuck nyuck nyuck

Q. Do you enjoy any weird combinations of food (not just exotic for your locale)?
A. Green olives in cottage cheese

Q. What kind of music do you listen to most frequently? What’s your favorite kind of music (if different)?
A. I listen to Christian Pop most frequently. My favorite style is classic 1950s Rock-n-Roll.

Q. Godzilla or Gamera
A. Godzilla all the way.

Q. What was the answer to all math questions at in school?
A. 42

Q. Happiest memory?
A. January 21, 1989 Virginia said, “I do!”

Q. Marx Bros.: the funniest thing ever, the pinnacle of human civilization, or I wouldn’t know I don’t have a sense of humor?
A. I’m actually not to familiar with the Marx Brothers. What little I’ve seen is pretty funny.

Q. How many languages do you speak?
A. English and ASL

Q. Gadget you can’t do without?
A. My Laptop.

Q. Book that makes you happy whenever you read it?
A. The Starrigger trilogy.

Q. Favorite Star Trek series and episode?
A. TOS: The City on the Edge of Forever TNG: The Inner Light DS9: Far Beyond the Stars VOY: The Killing Game 1&2 ENT: In a Mirror Darkly 1

Q. What kind of computer(s) do you use?
A. At work I use a Mac G4 at home I run a Dell laptop with Windows Vista.

Q. What is the next cartoon to live action movie you’d like to see?
A. M.A.S.K (Mobile Armored Strike Kommand)

Q. You’ve been given the opportunity to design fifth edition Dungeons & Dragons what do you do?
A. I make character generation as easy as Savage Worlds. I add the Role Playing aspect back into the game. Then I make it easier to play… Oh wait Shaintar already did all that.

Q. Drink of choice, if any?
A. Soft drink – Cherry Coke 0. Alcohol – Mike’s Hard Lemonade

Q. All things in moderation, or nothing succeeds like excess?
A. Too much of ANYTHING is bad for you.

Q. Do you commit art?
A. Commit Art? like graffiti? no. But I have taken up sketching again.

Q. Smart phone, dumb phone, land-line only, or how barbaric, I write letters…longhand.
A. If I could get net access at home without the land-line, I’d get rid of that. But I don’t want a phone that thinks it knows more than I do.

Q. Food that you could eat every day and not tire of? (Not necessarily exclusively)
A. Pizza. I actually do tend to eat that more four times a week. Such is the nature of living with teenage boys.

Q. Is there a character you’d like to be, assuming the world would cooperate?
A. I’ve been attempting to answer this all morning. I’ve tried cute, trite, whimsical… Anyway, I enjoy MY existence to much to trade it in on something else.

Q. Is there a fictional character that you emulate, intentionally or not?
A. Peter Parker, no matter what goes right in my life something bad usually negates it.

Q. Are you more like Batman (I have a plan for every contingency, and three back-up plans), MacGuyver (I’ll improvise) or Gladstone Gander (Nothing bad ever happens to me)?
A. McGyver, Life happens to fast to plan for contingencies.

Q. Do you have pets?
A. Me personally? Not currently. I used to have a hamster named Tribble. However living in my house is one dog named Blacktop, one cat named O’Malley, and a parakeet.

Q. Who’s your favorite character actor?
A. It’s a toss-up between Vincent Schiavelli or William H. Macy

Q. Now that we’re 10 years into the 21st Century, what innovation would you like to see come to fruition in the next decade?
A. I want flying cars. According to Back to the Future they should be here soon.

Q. Do you cook?
A. No.

Q. What’s your favorite restaurant?
A. Great Tastes Buffet in Waterloo, Iowa

Q. Weekend: Woohoo!, Awww, Meh, or What, already?
A. WooHoo! already?

Q. How do you take your coffee or tea? Or, if you don’t, what do you drink in the morning?
A. I usually need my caffeine cold and carbonated. Cherry Coke 0 when I need something in the morning.

Q. Do you buy yourself birthday presents?
A. Usually and Christmas as well. However, because of my short-term memory problems, I usually forget about them and my children give them to me. I am usually surprised by what I get.

Q. Who was the all-time villain you loved to hate in an RPG? In other words, who was Moriarity to your Holmes?
A. Azmodius. He breaks out into cold sweats at the mere mention of my character.

Q. Are there any holidays or celebrations that you really can’t stand?
A. I no longer see the need to stay up until midnight to ring in the New Year. It’ll still be there in the morning.

Q. What do you have for breakfast?
A. 2 Sausage/egg croissants and a bottle of orange juice.

Q. Right here, right now, is there any other place you’d rather be?
A. Let’s see I’m taking care of this before I clock in at work… Only in as much as someone would rather be at home instead of at work.

Q. Do you do karaoke?
A. No, fortunately for the rest of civilized society.

Q. How many years have you been playing RPGs?
A. 1983-1987 (long hiatus) 2005-2010 8 years

April 26, 2010 Posted by | Life near an Iowa Cornfield, Vulcan Stev | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Ask Me Anything: Snippets from my page

I’m enjoying this little website.  It’s like Twitter but less demanding.  It doesn’t require you to sign up for anything to ask me a question.  Just click here and go Ask Me Anything

Q. Hollywood is giving away classic film and television automobiles. Which one do you claim as yours for everyday driving?
A. Just one? I’ll take Ecto 1.

Q. Imagine, if you will, you’re in a dimension not of sight, or of sound, but of mind…what do you look like?
A. Brilliant neon green. A pulsating orb of energy.

Q. How are y’all today?
A. Still numb.

Q. Do you have an accent (as reckoned by your friends and co-workers)? What kind?
A. Nope. Midwesterners are pretty accent free (until we travel to other parts of the country).

Q. Would you rather be right, or be happy? No weaseling by claiming they are always compatible, please.
A. I’d rather be right. But I’m not going to fight someone over it. I’ll let them wallow in their ignorance.

Q. What do you sleep in?
A. in bed with my wife.

Q. Why where there no sheets on the bed in TOS?
A. Sophisticated room sensors provide maximum comfort without needing to drape the body.

Q. Would you rather be really hot or really cold?
A. Cold. You can always add another blanket or layer of clothes. There’s a limit to how much you can strip off.

Q. What is the RPG or RPG product you where most disappointed by?
A.The Car Warriors comic book series produced by Marvel Comics about the Car Wars line.

Q. All-time favorite screen villain?
A. Colonel Stuart from Die Hard 2.

Q. Banjo or bagpipes?
A. How about Banjopipes.

Q. Borg or Klingon?
A. As to which would I rather be? Klingon. Most fearsome threat? Borg

Q. If you roleplay, do you speak in character? Do you use funny voices?
A. Absolutely. Among my other talents, I’m a puppeteer. Funny voices come second nature to me.

Q. What is your all-time most favored character that you have played in an RPG?
A. A Gnome Cleric by the name of Nevets Belin.

Q. What’s the best place near you to get a drink?
A. The Boss’ fridge.

Q. What’s your favorite sport?

Q.  Are you a gamer? I mean an old school one, none of these newfangled computer things.
A. My interest in computer games ended when the old Atari 2600 joystick became obsolete. Yes I am an old-school gamer.

Q. Flight or super-speed?
A. Flight. Do you know how much money I’d save on gas for the morning commute?

Q. Super-strength or Super-speed?
A. As long as it was controllable, Super-speed


Q. Revenge is a dish best served _____?
A. Cold. It is very cold in space. (ancient Klingon proverb)

Q. What is your favorite cartoon character?
A. Bugs Bunny

Q. What did you eat for breakfast today?
A. Waffles made by the best cook in the world (as attested to by my growing waistline).

A. Do you dwell on things or let them go?
Q. Unfortunately I dwell on things. It took me nearly 17 years to pick up a pencil again after an off-hand comment by an Art Teacher in high school.

Q. What’s your favorite type of character to play (or read about if you don’t play RPGs)?
A. I like Gnomes and I like Elves.

Q. Have you ever written fiction not as a school assignment? Longer than a short story? Published it yourself? Been published by somebody else? Made a living at it?
A. Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, and No. I’ve written the adventures of Stev the Vulcan for the better part of 20 years. Older stories were published by the club I joined at the beginning. I’ve re-published some of these over at Fan

Q. If you could change the ending of one movie, which one and how?
A. Just one? Right now I’ve plenty of bad movies running through my head and not one of the stands out as being repairable by changing the ending. You have given me an idea for Database post.

Q. What do all your friends love that you just don’t get?
A. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Q. Do you have any fantasy jobs? (Like a dream job, except you know you’d hate the non-idealized real-life version of it.)
A. Actually being able to support the family with my puppeteering.

Q. Suppose you lived in an ideal world, with no war, crime, poverty, disease, etc. Would your current job still exist?
A. I’m an ad man for a local paper. No poverty? My job would probably be more in demand.

Q. “X, why did it have to be X?” For you, what is X?
A. Needles… brrrr

Q. “What is best in life?” If I’m following you, you probably know Conan’s answer. What is yours?
A. My wife’s cooking, as evidenced by my larger waistline after I married her.

Q. What fictional universe would you most want to live in?
A. Star trek universe. I’ll be in Montana in 2063 anyone care to join me?

Q. If you could have lunch with any one in the world who would it be and why?
A. Weird Al Yankovich, I’ve always had an affinity for his music, fashion sense, and rather bizarre outlook. The way his character ran Channel 62 (UHF) would be awfully similar to the type of shows I’d come with.

Q. What was your favorite Robert Culp role?
A. Demon with a Glass Hand from the Outer Limits

Q. If you could have a sexual and/or romantic encounter with a fictional character who would it be?
A. Dream dates? Discretion, not to mention my wife (whom I love desperately) require me to abstain on this answer.

Q. What one book do you think everybody reading this should read?
A. Whether you believe it or not, The Bible, at least once. It was a very important book to our founding fathers. It is revered as Holy by the three top religions of this planet.

Q. Who should I follow on Formspring?
A. Besides me? VulcanStev – cleireac, Canageek, trollgodfather, UncleDark, BerinKinsman, CydoniaRaven, geweller, WyattSalazar, NewbieDM, cartoonlad, Voyage2k, Viriatha, StargazersWorld, drcheckmate, nevermetpress

Q. What one thing would you tell your younger self if you could?
A. Wait until I was sure what I wanted to do with my life before going to college.

Q. Have you broken any bones? If so, how?
A. I broke the bones in one of my toes. I kicked an exposed water pipe full force.

Q. If you suddenly inherited an Ice Cream parlor, which flavor would you be constantly out of, because you’re dipping into the stock?
A. Cookies -n- Cream

April 12, 2010 Posted by | Life near an Iowa Cornfield, Star Trek, Vulcan Stev | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Stump the Vulcan: Ask me anything.

Play stump the Vulcan.
Ask me anything. click the link..

This little game has garnered some response.  Here’s some recent questions and my answers. 

What was the worst place you’ve traveled to?
Some sleazy hotel on Mackinac Island. They gave us a wonderful view of their garbage dumpster and then proceeded to steal from our luggage while we were in town.

Who’s the sexiest woman alive?
My wife.

Who do you think should be the next president of the United States?
Nope, I refuse to get drawn into that argument with three years left on the current administration.

You’ve just manifested a super power. What is it and how would you really use it?
I have the super-human ability to put people to sleep by just talking to them. With these powers I could be… a superhero. I’d fight crime, protect the innocent… work for world peace. But first. …

If you had to throw away either your TV or your computer, which would you choose?
TV in stone cold second. I can watch DVDs on my computer, I can watch most TV shows on my computer. I cannot write my fiction on the TV.

Do people expect you to have a Vulcan demeanor, given that you have that username?
I’ve been writing the character of Stev the Vulcan for the better part of two decades. Folks do expect a cliché Vulcan demeanor, but then Stev is anything but the cliché Vulcan.

If I gave you a big budget and put you in charge of producing a new Star Trek TV series, what could I expect?
An anthology series. This week we might have a show about the Starfleet Corps of Engineers. Next week we might have an all Klingon Episode. What happened to the crew of the USS Voyager after it got home? There’s endless possibilities.

What household chore do hate to do the most?
Dishes. Standing at the sink for too long makes my back hurt.

How much does a sliver deck cost for magic the gathering?
Google lists them from $20 to $59.99

What’s your favorite game you’ve never played?
That would have to be Munchkin.

If you could only listen to one song for the next month, which would it be?
The Sound of Silence

What did you eat for breakfast today?
Nothing. That’s normal.

Do you want to be buried or cremated?
Don’t know. Don’t care. I’ll be dead. Do whatever is cheapest.

What was your first paying job?
Paper carrier for the Des Moines Register

How would you describe yourself in 3 words?
Husband, Father, Geek

What did you dream about last night?
Actually, I dream about the stories I’m currently working on.

If you could only read one magazine for the rest of your life, which would it be?
One magazine? Whatever I pick it’s gonna be pretty dog-eared after 40 years.

Mambo dogface down the banana patch?
A mad Fonda be Abe than chomp cag town or Steve Martin.  Take your pick.

If you could go on vacation for the next month with an unlimited budget, where would you go?
My beloved wife has never been to Hawaii? She’s been to the other 49 states.

Would you rather vacation at the beach or in the mountains?
Which one has the better WiFi?

March 21, 2010 Posted by | Life near an Iowa Cornfield, Vulcan Stev | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The view from my chair: What have I been doing?

Role playing isn’t necessarily always about rolling dice.  Sometimes it as simple as sitting down and going “What if….”

Somebody asked me in an e-mail, why I haven’t been writing as much RPG stuff at the blog as I used to.  I replied with my stock answer that life has been busier with the “new job” (been there a year now), Mrs. VS’s cancer recovery, and PIT’s (now Pvt. Black Spartan) graduation from High School and Basic training.  Yes my time has more demands on it now that I am no longer self-employed (I do have a commute), but I seem to spend just as much time at the computer now as I did a year ago.

I got to thinking about this and realized that I’m still involved with RPG, I’m just not blogging about as much as I used to.  I’m playing in a bi-weekly 4e game at my FLGS (The Core).  I’m currently playing a semi-bi-weekly Top Secret game with my gaming group.  I’ve been playing a genetically enhanced human in an online Klingon RPG and I’ve been working on some of my fiction, which in itself is a form of RPG.  I’ve also been playing Wizards 101 which is not RPG but a very fun game for kids and adults.

The Klingon RPG is set up where the Commander of roleplay issues orders.  You then have two months to write a short RP about what your character did.  If you are interested the URL is  Tell ’em Chris DeHart sent you.

Stev is my nom de plume.  He also happens to be a character that I have been writing fan/fiction about for the better part of twenty years.  I’ve dusted off some of the older stories and have been writing some new stuff.  Until I get the new stuff finished, I’ve been posting the older stories.

My short stories are available over at I’ve currently got four stories posted.

The Stitch: A Section 31 Agent must travel back in time to the 21st century to prevent a corruption of the timeline.

Return to Glory: The story of Stev and T’Aiya meeting someone who plays a very large role in their future.

Shore Leave: Stev realizes who his soul mate is but does she feel the same way about him?

Down Time: Stev recalls the ‘accident’ which changed his life forever.

This last one isn’t strictly speaking RPG.  But I will answer any all questions asked, Play stump the Vulcan.  Ask me anything. click the link..

March 20, 2010 Posted by | Life near an Iowa Cornfield, News, Reviews and Culture, RPG, Vulcan Stev | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments