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30 D30 30 Charts & Tables that make the most of your biggest Die

Yes I’ve been away from this blog for a while. I do plan on making a return. But I’ve been busy with my home-based business, Alien Graphics.

I’ve also been writing. My new book is available from 30 D30: 30 Charts & Tables that make the most of your biggest Die  It’s only $5.

Inside you’ll find every D30 chart ever published on this blog as well as several new ones.

Such as:

30 Dreams & Nightmares

  1. You are trapped in a maze of cardboard boxes that you cannot escape from (This actually happened to a PC in the Quest for the Staff of Genesis) Gerrit Nibbelink reminded me.
  2. You are fighting a dragon in your underwear
  3. Your mother-in-law has joined the party
  4. There’s no more beer
  5. You found the treasure trove but cannot get inside
  6. Your armor vanishes in the midst of battle
  7. There is a cat on you at all times and is constantly wanting your attention
  8. Seven beauties of the opposite gender have been bathing you
  9. You cannot get out of the tavern
  10. Your sword begins to sing in battle
  11. Lemmings have decided to follow you everywhere
  12. Knights with outrageous French accents taunt you at every turn
  13. Your mounts have been replaced by coconuts
  14. Your quest is to find a shrubbery
  15. The party has been hired to protect Princess Lowhan
  16. Bowser has decided to become your friend
  17. You are now required to say “It’s Morphin’ Time” to get your weapons to work
  18. Your dreams are so life-like that you cannot tell the difference between wake and sleep
  19. Jabba has put a bounty on you
  20. The knight in black armor with asthma claims to be your father
  21. The princess you just kissed is really your sister
  22. Cats think you are a scratching post
  23. Your aftershave is really a dragon aphrodisiac
  24. You are on planet full of talking apes
  25. One of your followers gets lost and turns into an evil version of themselves (Jolly Blackburn)
  26. The tavern runs out of ale
  27. The party is forced to live in a yellow submersible
  28. In the light of a full moon you turn skeletal
  29. You’ve defeated the dragon only to discover his treasure had been repossessed
  30. The Learning Channel has decided to follow your party for a documentary.

Here’s the Complete table of contents:

Saints for Your Cleric to Invoke.
30 Clichés Turned Into Magical Items.
Curses to Place on Your Magical Items.
The Infinity Rings.
Reasons for the Party to Actually Enter the Dungeon.
Random Treasure?
Random Monster Encounter.
You Found What at the Side of the Road?
Weather Generator.
Musical Acts in the Tavern.
Reasons Why Your Technology Failed.
Random City Encounters.
Names of Ships.
Single Use Items for a Magic User.
Where Have You Been?
Fear Toxins Sprayed on the PC by a Vengeful Wizard.
Drinks Being Served at the Bar.
Entrée’s Being Served at the Cantina/Restaurant.
Side Effects of Failed Spells from the Nearby School of Magic.
Random Things for the NPC to Say, When the PC Continues Questioning Beyond Your Notes.
Evocative Smells.
Scholarships/Schools of Training at the Local University.
What Manner of Roadkill is That?
Dreams and Nightmares.
Insults Hurled at the PCs by NPCs.
Famous Artisans and the Most Famous of Their Works.
Epic Bardic Poems.
Famous Weaponsmiths/Armorers and the Weapon/Armor That Made Them Famous.
Random Pies Cooling at a Campsite/Window.
Notices Hung at the Village Gathering Spot.
Goblin Phonetics.

May 14, 2012 Posted by | Fluff/Inspiration, Legacy D&D, News, Reviews and Culture, RPG | , , | 7 Comments

Demotivational Poster: The Pot of Gold

You don’t want to know what the leprechaun is packing.

November 30, 2011 Posted by | Demotivational Posters, Fluff/Inspiration, Legacy D&D, RPG | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Demotivational Poster: Dragons

Not only is dragon meat tasty but just think of all the XP you’ll gain.

December 28, 2010 Posted by | Demotivational Posters, Fluff/Inspiration, Legacy D&D, RPG | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Demotivational Poster: Overkill

While wearing my +5 Boots of Butt-Kicking. I swing my +10 Holy, Semi-intelligent, Flaming Mythral sword. It gets +10 against dragons and does double damage during a full moon. It also shoots flames.

September 14, 2010 Posted by | Demotivational Posters, Fluff/Inspiration, Legacy D&D, RPG | , , , | 2 Comments

Demotivational Posters: Nerds

You know somebody really screwed up that baby’s stats.

September 7, 2010 Posted by | Demotivational Posters, Fluff/Inspiration, Legacy D&D, RPG | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Memories of Virginia: A Tribute to Wink (A Forgotten Realms scenario)

The following was written by a friend of mine in honor of Virgina and the character she played.  Please feel free to use the following in your Forgotten Realms campaigns.  Please be aware that is written from the vantage point of the game and character.  If RPGs are not your thing this tribute may  not be for you.

From Queen C’Nedra the Queen of Light and Dark a decree has been ordered across the land of  Faerie Cannon Cove that a holy temple be built to honor the memory of our fallen pixie faerie hero Wink.  Wink did not fall in the throes of battle with our known enemies but was felled by an enemy that is not seen and very cruel.  Many healers across the land in a tireless effort tried to heal brave Wink but alas the evil enemy won the battle.  Lady C’Nedra approached the Faerie Elders and the Demi Gods of the land to ask to bestow this honor upon Wink to help her noble friends heal from the loss of their dear friend.  Each member of her party has  offered a piece of them to make this special memorial to their dear friend.  The task of creating this special memorial to their dear friend   was given to the Grand Mistress of Magic Nyissa Nimblefoot and the Grand Master Wizard Naxor.  Into a cauldron will go a Ruinite robe by Lord Jango to honor Wink’s beautiful spirit inside and out.  Sir Galahad is offering his +20 Holy Avenger to aid Wink’s spirit in detecting evil in the hearts of mortals and creatures.  Lord Neferis in a selfless act of courage offers up his Tigers Eye Amulet of Return so that all members of this party can return to this place for healing.  Grand Archer  Riddlethump offers up his Valenwood Bow as a symbol of Wink’s strong unfailing spirit.  Lady Rayne offers her Rod of Kenders as a symbol of Wink’s childlike carefree spirit.  Lady Taikara offers up her Faerie Dust Bow as a symbol of Wink’s gracefulness.  Lady Phadra offers up her Valenwood Armor as a symbol of Wink’s courage in the face of battle.  Grand Wizard Hawryn offers up his Scroll of Truth Spell to aid Wink’s spirit in offering her mercies to those who seek them.

Princess Aria offers up her Trident of Power as a symbol of Wink’s friendships on land as well as in the seas.  Grand Master Bard Alouicious offers up his Golden Harp as a symbol of the beautiful music that Wink would create on her flute.  The Noble Dragons of this party offer their gift of the Eldunari, also known as the Heart of Hearts, as a symbol of this Grand Faerie Master’s knowledge of lore, magic and healing powers.  Therefore the dragons’ spirits, knowledge, and magic will live forever.  Now the cauldron is filled with these very special selfless gifts and now Grand Master Bob offers his gift to Wink.  Bob offers his gift of the Super Nova to not only meld the gifts together but also as a symbol of Wink’s light spirit.  With the help of Mistress Nyissa and Master Naxor a statue of a faerie is formed with the Heart of Hearts and the Amulet of Return as part of her alter.  As a final gift Lord Nevets and the other priests in the Holy Choir offer up both a Lament of Sorrow and a powerful Anthem of Protection in honor of the love and friendship that Nevets shared with Wink for many years.

Wink’s spirit is now immortalized in a statue that will be placed inside the Temple of Tears, a building so regal and protected that no evil can destroy it.  The statue itself has healing properties beyond all this world.  The statue can only be activated by the specially chosen clerics and druids who are entrusted with the special chant to channel Wink’s spirit to the statue. These disciples of Tears are overseen by Navor who was specially chosen by Queen C’Nedra as overseer of the temple and protector of all who reside there.  Wink’s spirit statue can cure any disease known to man or creature be it natural, evil or other unknown curse.  Wink’s statue also has the ability to turn mortals and creatures from evil to good.

However, beware if Wink’s spirit detects evil intentions the victim will be doomed to walk the earth forever unless a good deed is done and Wink’s spirit chooses to show mercy on their poor soul.

The statue is set in a temple of marble accented with Ruinite.  The statue is set in the middle with a small moat of  clear water so that the creatures and merpeople of the water world can commune with Wink and receive her healing gifts.  Above the temple entrance there is an hourglass with sand in the top and as it flows to the bottom of the glass it changes to tears and this is also the holy symbol of this temple that is worn by the disciples of Tears and all who have helped to create this temple.  And now as her gift to the Grandest Faerie ever, Princess Gavriel offers her the gift of two Guardian Angels as keepers of the temple doors so that all those who shall pass will not forget who the Temple of Tears stands for.  This has been decreed  across the land and shall become known to all that Queen C’Nedra  is recognized as the author of this law.  May the road rise to meet you. May the wind be always at your back.May the sun shine warm upon your face. May the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, May the Lord hold you in the palm of His hand.  Farewell my friend.
**Wink : Oct. 25, 1963- May 12, 2010

May 29, 2010 Posted by | Fluff/Inspiration, Legacy D&D, Memories of Virginia, RPG | , , , , | 1 Comment

Gaming in the Universe of: G. I. Joe

Recently I asked for some help from fellow RPG Bloggers writing these articles.  The response was larger than I anticipated.  Quite a few folks volunteered to write some GitUo articles.  Michael Morrison of the Rhetorical Gamer was the first turn in this little gem.  He’s mining G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra for your D&D campaign

G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra as reviewed by the family.

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra is one of those over-the-top, wild action blockbusters that resonates with fans and non-fans alike, for the explosions, the new takes on old characters and the obvious invincibility of its main characters.  No matter your opinion of this current movie incarnation of the 80s military cartoon, the movie offers up some interesting inspirations for a DM. 

Feeling lazy?  You could just “steal” a huge chunk of the plot and have a mini-campaign for your players.  Imagine if you will, the characters are travelling the countryside, looking for adventure, and they enter a Barony where the old Baron died a while back and his Baroness (yes, that’s right…) is now ruling the area with an iron fist.  She has taken a new lover, a knight who goes into battle wearing a shining silver helm, and they have begun building up their power.  They are taxing the locals into the dirt, building up their military and performing terror raids against their neighbors.  And then, just when the PCs get really into the fight, when they really think this Baroness is the worst of the worst…  You spring the surprise.

She’s being dominated/blackmailed/cursed by a powerful cult of serpent worshippers.  What fantasy world doesn’t have an evil snake cult or two?  And you’ve layered on the next set of challenges for the PCs to face.

This idea works well in the new D&D 4e “Points of Light” type settings, because without a central authority it is a lot easier for small nobles to fight one another in this way.  And with the Yuan-ti, and now psionics have joined in with the release of Player’s Handbook 3, you have a custom built mindbending snake cult.  Also, the transition between fighting the Baroness and fighting the snake cult is a good transition from heroic to paragon tier.  A solid turning point for a game.

Without being so blatant, the movie has much more to offer.  Imagine a kingdom, recovering from a devastating war, a young king in need of champions.  He goes to the veterans of this war and forms a team of the finest warriors, heroes, mages, and everything else to protect the kingdom.  You would be spies, diplomats, undercover operatives, warriors, and whatever else the kingdom needs.  Sounds very much like a group of adventurers.  Now imagine what happens when you are captured, in an allied city, after failing to protect that city from the destruction wrought by the people you were sent to stop?  Who bails you out?  And of course, who doesn’t want to be a ninja?

GI Joe has far more to offer than I can reasonably go into here…  Watch it again, think about your game, or your next game, and see what might fit.  You might be surprised.

March 19, 2010 Posted by | Fluff/Inspiration, Gaming in the Universe of..., Legacy D&D, RPG | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Order of the D30: Saints for your Cleric to Invoke

orderd30Another article in my Order of the D30 series.  Rescued from the draft heap.

Inspired by Jeff Rients’ Book Miscellaneum of Cinder and this article from Grognardia.

In our AD&D game on Sunday afternoons I play a Gnome Cleric named Nevets Belin.  A follower the Lawful/Good Diety, Jahwei.  For some reason, Nevets has been picking up his own followers left and right.  Due to this upsurge in followers I have been contemplating Saints in the Jahwei hierarchy to flesh out the faith for better RP.  So today I caught the article and book (Book Review coming), and suddenly I had my inspiration.  Not all of these Saints are going to be in Jahwei’s hierarchy as He is Lawful/Good and would never condone criminal activity.  But I present them here anyway.

1. St. Spiner, patron saint of technology (By Spiner’s gold-plated epidermis)
2. St. Donatrum, patron saint of shop owners and merchants (By Donatrum’s bank accounts)
3. St. Benji, patron saint of canines and their handlers (By Benji’s studded collar)
4. St. Diznee, patron saint of good wizards and magical abilities (By Diznee’s Dominant Domain)
5. St. Orlando, patron saint of archers (By Orlando’s Onery Arrows)
6. St. Goolianni, patron saint of civilization, the protector of cities (By Goolianni’s Galvanized Gantries)
7. St. Algore, patron saint of the wilderness (By Algore’s Spotted Owl)
8. St. Castle, one-eyed, patron saint of Warriors dedicated to the eradication of demons and evil (By Castle’s good eye)
9. St. Michellein, patron saint of travellers. (By Michelein’s Mighty Movements)
10. St. Perkins, patron saint of animals (By Mutual of Omaha)
11. St. Bilgayts, patron saint of information (By Bilgayts Burnished Baubles)
12. St. Yankovich, patron saint of Bards (By Yankovich’s Pearly Squeeze-box)
13. St. Jonnidepp, patron saint of bandits and pickpockets. (By John’s Jolly Joybox)
14. St. Wapner, patron saint of judges and arbiters of the law. (By Wapner’s Glorified Gavel)
15. St. Anhauser, patron saint of taverns. (By Anhauser’s Awesome Ale)
16. St. Hawking, patron saint of knowledge and students. (By Hawking’s silver chair)
17. St. Jonnideere, patron saint of farmers and herdsman.  (By Jonnideere’s Furrowed Fields)
18. St. Valdeez, patron saint of sailors and ships. (By Valdeez’s Black Wake)
19. St. DeeAhn patron saint of wanderers. (By DeeAhn’s devilish Dulcimer)
20. St. Oprah patron saint of town criers. (By Oprah’s Obvious Announcements)
21. St. Mikey patron saint of life. (By Mikey’s Mirthful Mouth)
22. St. Cialis patron saint of male virility. (By Cialis’ Enlarged Epidermis)
23. St. Shatner patron saint of travelers. (By Shatner’s Shift Shirt)
24. St. Kinsman, patron saint of Royalty (By Kinsman’s Uncle Bear)
25. St. Stark, patron saint of armorers. (By Stark’s Crimson Armor)
26. St. Checkmate patron saint of weaponsmiths. (By Checkmate’s Cheeky Chunks)
27. St. Brunzeneggar patron saint of barbarians (By Brunzeneggar’s Burly Biceps)
28. St. Roker, patron saint of predictors of the weather. (By Roker’s Randy Raingauge)
29. St. Harwell patron saint of seekers of the truth (By Harwell’s Holy Handgrenade)
30. St. Hwinykw patron saint of evil wizards (By Voldemort’s Nameless Ancestry)

March 15, 2010 Posted by | Fluff/Inspiration, Legacy D&D, Order of the D30, RPG | , , , , , | 3 Comments

Dungeon Dramas: A Guest Spot from Bob @ The Dice Bag

rsc01Welcome back to Dungeon Dramas, my ongoing series of plot hooks as developed by the random roll of my Story Cubes. Today’s Dungeon Drama is guest written by Bob from The Dice Bag.

Believe it or not, Bob and I concocted this little guest spot last year.  Many things happened including more hours at work for me.  Bob forgetting to actually send his play, my mis-filing the response because of PIT #1’s graduation from Basic.

Bob I’m sorry it took so long but here at long last is your guest spot.

Bob’s roll: a person sleeping, a hand, a tree, a bemused face, a parachutist, a question mark, a crescent moon, a magnet, and a cane

Strange things have been happening in a local village. People have been disappearing during the night never to be heard form again. Objects are going missing and pets and livestock are being slaughtered or disappearing. He had been sleepwalking and when woken had no idea where he was or what he was doing. He insisted the dream made him do it. When questioned about his dream all he could remember about it was a ghostly hand guiding him through the town, showing him what to do. He felt as though he was falling the entire time and kept getting glimpses of an ancient tree sitting in the middle of a meadow.
The local wise man recognised this horrible dream and sent out for a group of adventurers to track down this tree that was pulling these people to it in their sleep. They must find the tree before the next new moon when it is a crescent high in the sky. It and it’s servants must be destroyed and with the staff of the local holy man they must show the fallen villagers the light.

Do you want a shot at a Dungeon Drama?  I finally got my action cubes in the mail.  Drop me an e-mail or leave a comment.

March 12, 2010 Posted by | Fluff/Inspiration, Legacy D&D, Plot Hooks from..., RPG | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

How to Host a Dungeon: a Review


Planet Thirteen’s How to Host a Dungeon is a quick entertaining diversion designed for one person.  As a game it’s enjoyment level ranks right up there with an actual gaming session.  However, I’ve discovered that it can also become an essential part of your DM toolbox. 

As I have stated many times, my creative streak seems to work best with SOME kind of inspiration.  I’m always on the lookout for something that will jump start my creative synapses.  How to Host a Dungeon, does just that.

Let me start by saying this game is a lot of fun.  I started off playing this solo and had to improvise rules for two more players before I finished my first dungeon.  PIT #2 & #3 saw how much fun I was having and DEMANDED to play along.  We had a blast building the first few dungeons.  We laughed uproariously as we named the various monsters, humanoids, and the arch-villains.  We’re averaging about 3 hours per dungeon, so it’s not necessarily a quick random dungeon.  Though I will admit a good portion of our time was spent laughing over the names we invented for the various inhabitants.

You will need a standard set of dice to play this game (d4, d6, d8, d10, d12, & d20).  You will also need pencils, paper, pens and small beads or tokens (we used little necklace beads from Hobby Lobby), standard fare for a self-published game.

sc0004d7cdThe dungeon pictured was the first one we built.  It was built for our ongoing Quest for the Staff of Genesis campaign.  So we did not play that build out to the end as we needed monsters for the party to hunt, treasure to find, and a villain to defeat.   I also had to shoehorn established points from our campaign into the dungeon design.  This was easily handled as the this game is designed to be multi-system compatible.

I had two small quibbles with the game.  The first is an acknowledged typo contained throughout the game.  The rules are constantly stating to roll a d6 against tables that are obviously larger than six items.  When you play amend that rule to read roll a dX (where X = the size of the table being rolled against).  The second minor quibble was rules for battles involving wandering monsters and adventurers are printed a different page than the rest of the adventurer and wandering monster rules.  These complaints are minor considering the overall fun of this game.  Both of these complaints are easily fixable in subsequent printings.

Overall I was impressed with the ease and simplicity of the game.  $19.00 for both a print and .pdf version is a very good value.  PIT#3 likes the game but would like to see bats added as permanent part of the rule set.  PIT #2 found the game to be incredibly fun.  I recommend getting the print version as the constant shuffle of pages during the age of Monsters can get to be a hassle using .pdf.

4.95 pointed ears out of 6 – Recommended

July 2, 2009 Posted by | Fluff/Inspiration, Legacy D&D, News, Reviews and Culture, RPG | , , , , , , , | 3 Comments