Meet Ashya T’Sai.
As most of my regular readers can tell you, I am a widower. My wife, Mrs. Vulcan Stev passed this past spring after a battle with breast cancer and then liver cancer. Rather then rehash what I’ve already written just click here.
One week after I wrote the I’m not fishing post, I broached the subject with my pastor and my church. I wanted them aware of the fact that I was not looking at leaving the church but rather looking to go to a place where single women my age attended. I wasn’t about ready to start dating someone I didn’t know. So in order to get to know the women when I was ready to start dating, I had to go to where they were.
The members of the church all agreed this was a reasonable thing for me to do (though there was gnashing of teeth over “It’s too soon to be dating”).
Two days after I asked for prayer that God would illuminate my path towards “Single, Ready-to-Date”, I got an e-mail from an acquaintance from High School. She was now a single mother and her children had questions about Renaissance Faires and Role Playing Games and how both of those activities can fit into a Christian worldview.
I make no secret about the fact that I am a Christian. I make no secret that I believe that Role Playing Games are not Satanic in nature and can be enjoyed by Christians. With those things firmly in mind, I honestly answered her questions to the best of my ability. I was no more thinking about my recent prayer request than I was thinking about supper two weeks from then. Here was a friend from High School asking my opinion on a subject that I know pretty well.
One e-mail turned into two. Two e-mails turned into many. E-mails gave way to text messages. Text messages gave way to phone calls (Thank God I have unlimited texting on my phone and we’re both on the same network so we’re not paying for all the additional calling and texting).
I’m not going to bore you with the all the details and some of the details are highly personal, suffice it to say that over the course of these conversations we not only renewed a friendship but we sparked something more than that. I journeyed to the wonderful land of the Ozark mountains to meet her family this past week. After meeting her family, asking her parents permission (I know I didn’t have to because we’re both adults but I did anyway) to date their daughter, Ashya T’Sai (vulcan for Lady Love) and I officially began dating.
What? How could you? Isn’t this too soon?
Ashya and I are friends from high school. She and I share the same faith (not just Christianity but the same subset). I don’t blog much about this but I work with kids in the church. My main form of doing this is with a puppet team, Ashya and I were on the same puppet team in high school she still works with the Wednesday evening children’s stuff at her church.
My last request was that the next woman in my life should understand me. Mrs. Vulcan Stev and I loved each other very much. We did not share many interests and once the kids were gone from the home we were going to have to reconnect. I did not want to start dating again at age 43 and have NOTHING in common with the woman I dated.
Ashya, not only gets my sense of humor, she’s as bad as I am with puns. She not only likes movies but our DVD collections are nearly identical. The only reason we don’t watch the same TV is because I have dish and she doesn’t. The only major difference between the two of us is that she likes coffee and I have to get my caffeine cold and carbonated.
I’m not going to question God’s timing. I asked God where the pond was and he responded with the fish. It’s like he was telling me that I didn’t have to worry about this because he had everything under control. I loved Mrs. Vulcan Stev and I always will. However she is now a treasured part of my past. Ashya and I are the future.
Just to give all my geeky buddies an idea of her geek cred, her son, PIT #4, (not sure about that nickname yet) was given a whole slew of ducklings. I suggested that she name one of the ducks Howard. Not only did she get the reference but she laughed for a minute or two before saying, “That’s perfect.”
Ashya and I are not playing the dating game. We’re not in this just for fun, she still lives in the Ozarks and I live in North Central Iowa. We’re in this for the long-haul. She’ll be showing up in these posts, I just wanted to introduce her to everyone.