Vulcan Stev's Database

It's a BLOG Captain, but not as we know it.

Cancer Crisis: Her Journey is Over… and ours has just begun.

Good Morning World.  It is 11:00 am Wednesday May 12.  I wake up this morning as a single father.  I am simply overwhelmed by the support, love, and friendship… (how do you translate tears all over the keyboard and screen?)

Virginia took her last breath at 1:2o this morning.  I stayed around doing the normal paperwork shuffle until about 3:15 this morning.  I got home at about 3:45 and shut off the phone, the alarms and went to bed.  I woke this morning to a very wet pillow and an empty bed.

Virginia’s folks and sister made it to Iowa in time to see her.  Pvt Black Spartan (Janae) made it home in time to see Mommy.  We had a ad-hoc family reunion in Virginia’s hospice room as we all shared stories of our favorite Virginia memories.

The family (especially PIT #3) started to get tired about 10:30.  11:00 I wrote the “Counting down the hours” post and read each of the 113 e-mails.  I hope everyone will forgive me for not replying personally. 😎

Pastor Ken of my church and Pastor Troy (not my Pastor but I’ve worked with him on a number of occasions) sat with me and talked from 11:00 – 12:30.  I shared with them stories of Virginia and I.  We watched Virginia’s breathing get shallower and further apart as I held her hand.  Pastor Troy left at 12:30 and Pastor Ken sat with me.

At 1:20 this morning Virginia breathed her last.  My wife is now healed.  Praise God!  The shell she lived in on this earth is at rest.

I’ll probably be saying this a lot in the next few days.  THANK YOU!  I don’t remember who started it but the Vulcan Stev family fund is appreciated.  I never would have asked, but I’m man enough to admit we need it and I certainly won’t turn down the assistance.  Posting the link here seems a little self-serving to me (besides in all honesty I’m not sure I remember who started it or what the link is)  Again thank you.

Virginia Nibbelink is at peace.  She has fought the good fight.  She has finished her race.  The Cancer Crisis is over.

Right now plans are for her memorial service to be held Sunday morning at New Hope Fellowship in Holland, Iowa.  You are all certainly welcome to attend.

I plan to write up a post (when I’m feeling more articulate) about what Virginia meant/means to me.

I have had a number of folks tell me that my posts about the battle have been a source of inspiration (Berin, I think I understand a little how you feel).  Towards that end, I will also probably blog about how the family is coping with the transition.  I figure if what I wrote has helped folks going through similar experiences with cancer then what I write might help folks who have lost someone.

I apologize if this has been rambling.  I’m still coming to grips with the fact that Virginia isn’t coming back to this house.  She has gone home.

Virginia Nibbelink b. October 25, 1963.  Born into Eternity May 12, 2010.  Godspeed my love

May 12, 2010 - Posted by | Life near an Iowa Cornfield, Mrs. Vulcan Stev's Fight, Vulcan Stev | , , , , , ,


  1. Stev, this has been a week. One of our officers here in Texas was ‘promoted to Glory’ (as we say in the SA) early Tuesday morning leaving behind three beautiful daughters that he raised single-handedly. Now the news about Virginia (did I mention that the Princess Bride’s middle name is Virginia?). My head and heart are reeling today with both sets of news all on top of the move we are making in a few weeks.

    All I can think of is a line from the 23rd Psalm: “Though I walk THROUGH the Vally of the SHADOW of death, I will fear no evil…(emphasis mine)”

    May God bless and comfort you and your family in the coming days.

    Comment by cleireac | May 12, 2010

  2. Please forgive my near-total silence during this time. I haven’t known what to say. Everything I started to type ended up sounding hollow. I understand some of what you are feeling; if you ever need someone to talk to one-on-one about it, I’m always available.

    Comment by Andrew Modro | May 12, 2010

  3. I’m honestly at a complete loss of coherent words. I’m so sorry you and your family have had to go through this and I suppose solace can be taken at the speed of it happening rather than the drawn out process it can sometimes be in the end.

    I’ve only had one member of my family die from cancer and I was 6 months old at the time so my entire memory of her is that of a picture my grandfather kept on his mantle piece. Whenever I here someone calling me Robbie though she jumps into my head as she is the only person to every call me that.

    As for continuing to write… I get the impression if helps you just as much as it helps others so keep it up even if only for yourself.


    Comment by Bob | May 12, 2010

  4. She is at peace. Amen.

    I know you don’t know me but if I can do anything, please let me know.

    My eyes are a little watery here…and it’s a tiny screen, so I hope you can read this. Bless you all.

    Comment by Matt | May 12, 2010

  5. Please know that you are not alone in this difficult time.

    To anyone else reading, you can still ChipIn to help VS and family here:

    Comment by Dave T. Game | May 12, 2010

  6. You aren’t the only one typing through tears, Matt.

    I know that nothing I say can take the pain away, but I hope you and the kids find some small comfort in knowing that you are in the hearts and prayers of your friends.

    Comment by Golgotha Kinslayer | May 12, 2010

  7. One step at a time Steve, and remember to breathe.

    Comment by Gary Weller | May 12, 2010

  8. Steve..thru your words…you let me share virginia with you and your family…I never met her..but..I feel her loss…
    Your family are in my thoughts…

    p.s. the viginia fund is an excellany idea

    Comment by jill curry | May 12, 2010

  9. Baruch dayan emet. In Hebrew, it means “blessed is the Judge of Truth.” Only G-d knows why it was her time, but draw comfort from knowing the pain is gone and she is the best of hands.

    I’m glad the fund is helping out, Steve.

    For any others that may want to help, please go here:

    Comment by Daniel M. Perez | May 12, 2010

  10. I’m near to tears, man. I watched my Dad die last August. In Sept, 3 weeks later, I was sitting in a hospital watching my wife suffer – we learned later it was lupus. I had a taste of that black hole that seems to swallow everything a man could feel or think when his loved other is dying. All I can offer is prayers and strength. I’m glad that her passing was as good as it could be and I wish you the strength for days to come.

    Comment by Michael S | May 12, 2010

  11. I’m very sorry to read about your loss, though I’ve only just found your blog. My mom is drawing near the end of her battle with terminal cancer. I don’t know anything to say because I haven’t been where you are and I don’t know if anyone really has. May you find a peace.

    Comment by Ruth | May 12, 2010

  12. Steve you don’t know me but I’m Bob’s wife – he told me a few nights ago about Virginia’s illness and I couldn’t believe it when he told me today that she’d passed away so quickly. You and your family have been in my prayers and will remain so in the coming time.

    Praise the Lord with your heart that Virginia has been born to eternal life in Heaven.

    With love

    Vonnie xx

    Comment by Vonnie | May 12, 2010

  13. A brief candle; both ends burning
    An endless mile; a bus wheel turning
    A friend to share the lonesome times
    A handshake and a sip of wine

    So say it loud and let it ring
    We are all a part of everything
    The future, present and the past
    Fly on proud bird
    You’re free at last.
    – Charlie Daniels

    Comment by Colmarr | May 12, 2010

  14. I’ll post up a link to the donations on my tomorrow–hopefully that way catch some of the folks who missed the first go-around.

    God bless you and yours, Steve. I pray that His hand will be a gentle comfort and solace, and that you will feel His presence in the days and weeks to come.

    Comment by Zachary | May 12, 2010

  15. Steve, you’re one of the people I consider a friend even though we’ve never met. My condolences to you and the kids. I know a little of what you’re feeling right now. It’s a terrible loss but it will be a wonderful reunion someday.

    Comment by Xose Lucero | May 12, 2010

  16. Steve, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again many times: I love you and your family, brother. I am glad Virginia is at peace, and hope the healing continues for you and the kids. Anything I can do, you name it. I love you, brother. Keep writing.

    Comment by Berin Kinsman | May 12, 2010

  17. Our world has suffered a tremendous loss, though the Good Lord has got quite a gain. I can’t quite grasp the thought of going to an interpreting class without Virginia. My prayers are with you all. God bless you in this difficult time.

    Comment by Deputy's Wife | May 12, 2010

  18. Steve thank you for sharing Virginia’s journey with us. I’m glad that the writing still helps you. Wishing you and yours comfort.

    Comment by cassey | May 13, 2010

  19. My heart, thoughts and prayers are with Steve & Virginia, their family, and their friends. May she rest in peace and may those she left behind find some comfort that her suffering has ended. God bless you all.

    Comment by jaerdaph | May 13, 2010

  20. My heart breaks for you and your children. You are all in my prayers.

    Comment by Mountzionryan | May 13, 2010

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