Vulcan Stev's Database

It's a BLOG Captain, but not as we know it.

Demotivational Poster: Tribbles

Sometimes it’s better to not ask “What’s for supper?”

January 18, 2011 Posted by | Demotivational Posters, Fluff/Inspiration, Star Trek | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Demotivational Poster: Movie Night on the Enterprise

Talking during movies is illogical.

January 17, 2011 Posted by | Demotivational Posters, Fluff/Inspiration, Star Trek | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Demotivational Poster: 3D Chess

Fascinating.

December 21, 2010 Posted by | Demotivational Posters, Fluff/Inspiration, Star Trek | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Demotivational Poster: Split Infinitives

Star Trek’s famous quote “To Boldly Go” is a split infinitive.  My fourth grade English Teacher, Mrs. Little corrected me every time I uttered the line in class.  Two commentors on the Star Trek infographic stated that split infinitives were forbidden in Latin but not English.  To that I offer this.

Go ahead and split your infinitives.  If it’s good enough for a Hollywood producer it’s good enough for my 2nd level cleric.

December 20, 2010 Posted by | Demotivational Posters, Fluff/Inspiration, Star Trek | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Demotivational Posters: Flowers

It is often not logical but the simple answers in life seldom are logical. Just accept the fact that good things happen and bad things happen sometimes without rhyme or reason. In life it works, in a game it’s called shoddy planning.

September 24, 2010 Posted by | Demotivational Posters, Fluff/Inspiration | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Demotivational Posters: Spock


Spock is Epic Level intellect. Your argument is invalid.
Don’t even bother rolling initiative against him.

September 17, 2010 Posted by | Demotivational Posters, Fluff/Inspiration, Star Trek | , , , , | 2 Comments

Demotivational Poster: Honor


Sometimes it sucks being Lawful Neutral.
However there’s an old Klingon proverb, “It’s better to be hungry with your honor intact, than to be fat and on your way to Grethor”

September 15, 2010 Posted by | Demotivational Posters, Fluff/Inspiration, Star Trek | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Demotivational Poster: Trek Wars


Mash-ups do not always equal cool, but in this instance? Vader and Kahn vs. Kirk and Luke Skywalker? I want in on this game.

September 13, 2010 Posted by | Demotivational Posters, Fluff/Inspiration, Star Trek | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Demotivational Poster: Vulcan Humor

Demotivational Poster Vulcan Humor
Ever once in awhile do something completely unexpected and out of character. It’ll confuse the heck out of everyone.

September 4, 2010 Posted by | Fluff/Inspiration, Star Trek | , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Vulcan Humor

The Complete Book of Terran HumorDo Vulcans have a sense of humor?  Many believe that Vulcans have no emotions and therefore do not understand the concepts of Terran humor.  Vulcans do in fact have emotions, very volatile  emotions.  Most Vulcans keep their emotions in check through meditation.  A select few have successfully purged all emotions and achieved Kolinahr.

The renowned Ambassador, Spock has been quoted on few occasions with a seemingly very dry sense of humor.  Captain James T. Kirk, in his memoirs, recalls a time when Spock actually did crack a joke.  It can be argued that Spock being half human possessed an insight into the human psyche that most Vulcans do not have.  However, there is a new book being published by a Ferengi consortium.  It purports to be a joke book.  Excerpts have been printed below.  I’ll leave it for you to judge whether or not Vulcans have a sense of humor.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
The flightless Terran avian, Gallus domesticus, apparently needed get to the other side of the vehicular pathway

What is gray, has four legs, a trunk, a tail and weighs three pounds?
The answer to this query purports to be the shadow of Loxodonta africana, the African Elephant.  However since a shadow has no mass and is therefore unaffected by gravity, this cannot be the answer to this query.  The logical response would be Mus musculus, the common Terran house mouse is taking a vacation.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Unasked is why Loxodonta africana, the African Elephant would want to sit on a fence which clearly would not support its weight.  Regardless of what your chronometer reads, it is time to repair the fence.

Why did the man put the car in the oven?
It is illogical to assume that anyone would have a  food preparation device large enough to park their ground conveyance vehicle inside.  If someone did have such a place built it would obviously be to keep a Ferengi from acquiring your vehicle.

How can you tell if a blonde has been at your computer?
Forensic analysis will be able to determine whether any cellular residue and DNA evidence has been left by a blonde crewmate.

What is black and white and red all over?
Before the widespread advent of the information networks, Terrans used to get their news from a daily printed page.  Early editions of these newspapers were printed using only black ink on uncolored newsprint.  Terrans made a linguistic pun on the word ‘red’.  However with the demise of the printed sheet as a daily form of information, the pun  is no longer valid.  The logical response would a sunburned Equus burchellii, more commonly known as a zebra.

September 3, 2010 Posted by | Fluff/Inspiration, Star Trek | , , , | 3 Comments

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