Demotivational Poster: Stupidity

GM: “You hear slobbering noises, the sounds of bone-crunching, and heavy heavy breathing.”
Player #1: “Let’s kick open the door!”
Player #2: “Yeah there’s bound to be something sweet behind that door.”

Destination Iowa: Renaissance Faires

Explore Fairy Tale & Fantasy

Story & Photos by
Steve Nibbelink
The Record
Graphic Designer

It is the time of fairy tale and fantasy.  Knights of old do battle once again.  The Renaissance Faires of Iowa hold court in the Amana Colonies over the Memorial Day weekend every year.  There are also three events in the Des Moines Sleepy Hollow Sports Park the first three weekends of September.
The 19th annual Iowa Renaissance Festival & Gathering o’ Celts was held at the Middle Amana Park Memorial Day weekend.  This family friendly gathering was named ‘Iowa’s Best Family Fest’ for the third year in a row

European history and world culture were presented as edutainment for all age groups. The characters, theatrics and folkways of the 13th to 17th centuries were brought to life with a cast of 200 costumed role-players. The true-to-life jousting matches, cultural exhibitions, and demonstrations entertained people from all over the state.

Sir Broderick Geoffrey and Sir Roland Fallsworth of Joust Evolution preformed to a cheering crowd three times a day for the entire weekend.  Sir Geoffrey cautions his younger fans that he has been jousting professionally for 20 years and he’s still learning.  His opponent for the weekend, Sir Fallsworth tore a tendon in his hand on the last joust of the day on Saturday.  Fallsworth has endured 7 major surgeries, 4 minor surgeries, and 300 stitches during his career.  His advice is to not do this at home.

The Brotherhood of the Steel is a volunteer organization that demonstrates sword fighting.  Their members train for a year and half with wooden mock-ups before they are allowed to fight with metal swords.  Stavolin, a Norse Guard has been sword fighting for more years than he can remember.  He suffered an injury during the weekend and had his fight permit pulled.

However, individuals can partake in other aspects of the fun.  There are inter-active demonstrations of bow and arrow shooting, knife throwing, and foam sword fights.  You can increase your fun by purchasing period authentic costumes from local vendors.  Jewelry dealers, leather workers, steel smiths, and weapons specialists will help you complete your costume.  A basic costume will run about $100 – $150 for a tunic, pants, belt, and blade.

If you missed out on this year’s Memorial Day event you can follow next year’s schedule at this web site. http://www.festint.com/index.shtml
If you’d still like to attend a Renaissance Faire this year there are three weekends in September filled with medieval entertainment.

Sept. 4th-6th – ‘KNIGHTS, BARBARIANS & HEROES’
The opening weekend of the 8th annual Des Moines Renaissance Faire brings Canterbury-on-Sherwood to life with knights in shining armor, warriors from ages past and the classic legends from stories of European lore.

Sept. 11th – 12th – ‘SCOTS, BRITONS & IRISH’
From the Highland Champions and their heavy lifting games to the archers of Sherwood Forest, the land of faerie tales and pre-American history (Great Britain) brings us entertainment, food and merchants from afar. Be thee Scot, Welsh, Cornish, Irish, Briton, English, leprechaun, elfin, faery, Shakespearian or are simply intrigued by these lively cultures, this weekend was created for lasting memories and the pleasure of all.

Sept. 18th-19th – ‘PIRATES, PERSIANS & BUCCANEERS’
The Queen’s Navy sails the high seas, yet docks at the Canterbury River, only to find freebooters of all sorts, both historical and fantasy. From Capt. Morgan to Capt. Hook and from sailing wenches to treehouse faeries, this is the weekend for all things of sea legend. Landlubbers beware as our castle town gets invaded by delightful characters from lands as near as the Caribbe and as far as Persia.

Sleepy Hollow Sport Park is located just south of the Iowa State Fair, 4051 Dean Avenue, Des Moines, IA, 50317, contact Max Kenkel 515-262-4100 or max@sleepyhollowsportspark.com. The web sites for the two events are http://www.dmrenfaire.com and http://www.sleepyhollowsportspark.com.

Tattoos are not leading me down a path paved with good intentions

Recently, I’ve been thinking about getting a tattoo.  I realize that getting a permanent scar is not everyone’s cup of tea.  I also understand that some might have moral or aesthetic objections to tattoos.  However, this posting is not about the moral and/or philosophical implications of getting a permanent body decoration.  It is, rather, a look at why I’m thinking of a tattoo and what I’m thinking of getting.

A tattoo is not something that I lightly contemplate.  I am deathly afraid of needles.  Don’t like ‘em, try to avoid them whenever possible.  See, needles come in two sizes; the 5-inch small needles and the four-foot three-inch diameter large needles.  To say that I don’t like needles is an understatement.  Yes I know, that needles are what a professional tattoo artist uses to ply his trade.  That has always been the deal-breaker for me in the past.

Flash forward to now.  Virginia’s wish was to be cremated and have her ashes scattered on the wind.  We actually used some of her ashes while planting a tree that was a gift from her best friend.  For this reason, there is no memorial, no marker, nothing that says to the world Virginia was here.

I began thinking of what I could do for a memorial.  I still want to donate some of the life insurance to cancer research but I have to finish paying off the bills before I do that.  The P.I.T.s have suggested the Virginia Nibbelink Memorial Entertainment Center (basically a new HD Big Screen TV).  I haven’t ruled that out but I’m not quite sure I want to spend quiet time thinking of my wife while the boys are playing video games.

The thought hit me that I could get a tattoo.  A tattoo with Virginia’s name on it, something that would mean something to me.  What design should I get?  A pink ribbon with her name on it? possibly.  But that’s almost cliché, I wanted something unique.  I thought about getting a tattoo of her RPG character with the pink ribbon, but that seemed to be a tad excessive and would require wa-a-ay too much explanation to the casual observer.

Then it hit me.  I’ll get a tat of a Klingon bat’leth sword with a pink ribbon encircling it.  I’ll put Virginia’s name on the ribbon and underneath her life span.  The sword would symbolize Virginia’s determination to defeat the cancer.  I ran this idea past my kids and was given the thumbs up across the board.

I began to tell family and friends about this idea.  My parents cautioned me on the fact that some folks that I deal with on a daily basis find tattoos offensive and I wouldn’t want to alienate those folks.  After taking everything into account I decided that I’d go ahead and get a tattoo on my arm right where a short-sleeve shirt would cover it.  That way it would a personal thing visible only to family and close friends.

My daughter’s best friend who has been helping the Nibbelink bachelors to survive without killing themselves, loved the idea and gave me $20 as a Father’s Day present.  The bill was inscribed “Tattoo Fund”.

Honored by her simple act of generosity, I posted about her gift on Facebook.  Oh my you’d think I had announced the apocalypse.  No fewer than 13 people chimed in each telling me that it was either a good idea or telling me that I was going to hell for even thinking about getting a tattoo.  One friend who shares similar religious beliefs almost ignited a flame war with his tongue-in-cheek comment (Hank I understood what you meant and we’re cool).  Somebody else in his own unique way directed me to the attached flow-chart to help me make the decision (ironically the flow chart actually indicates that I should get the tattoo).

So here I sit.  I have examined my own personal convictions and beliefs.  I will be getting a discreet tattoo in honor of my wife.

I will post pictures of it when I get it.

I just wanted to let everyone know.

Graphic courtesy of The Daily Weekly

Demotivational Posters: The Ents

An original Vulcan Stev Demotivational Poster

Who says you have to travel to far off worlds for your fantasy gaming? You never know what wondrous creatures live just across the fence.

Destination Iowa: Living History Farms

300 years of Iowa farming history comes to life

By Steve Nibbelink
The Record
Graphic Designer

Check out all the photos shot for this story at this FB photo album.

It’s unusual to see and hear the sights and sounds of an Iowa farm smack in the middle of urban sprawl. However if you visit the Living History Farms in Urbandale you’ll get exactly that.

Nearly 40 years ago the Living History Farms purchased the historic Flynn Mansion from the State of Iowa. Located on 500 acres just off of Hickman Road in Urbandale, the outdoor museum has expanded to include working examples of an Ioway Indian village, an 1850s pioneer farm and a 1900 Iowa farming homestead.

The museum complex is also home to the fictional town of Walnut Hill. This town depicts rural Iowa town life in the year of 1875. Actual buildings from the period have been purchased, moved to the museum and restored. Hands-on displays include but are not limited to visits to the Blacksmith, the farm implement store, the drug store, the general store, and the Church of the Land, which is built on the site of Pope John Paul II’s historic mass in 1979.

The Living History Farms is home to several buildings on the National Historic Register, including the aforementioned Flynn Mansion. The entire complex has been listed by the New York Times as “one of 100 places to see before you die.”

Located at 11121 Hickman Road in Urbandale, the museum complex is approximately 74 miles southwest of Conrad. Open from May – October, admission is $11.50 for adults, $7 for children 3-12 and $10.50 for citizens 60 and over.

Hours of operation are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday – Saturday and Sunday Noon – 5, May 1 – August 22 also 9 a.m. – 5 p.m. Wednesday – Saturday and Sunday noon – 5, Aug. 25 – Oct.15.

For more information about Living History Farms point your browser at www.LivingHistoryFarms.org.

Upcoming 2010 Special Events at the Living History Farms include:
Farmer’s Market 4-7 p.m. every Wednesday May 12 – Oct. 6.
Historic Baseball Games played on premises July 4, July 18, Aug. 8, Sept. 5, Sept. 19, and Oct. 3.
Behind the Barn Concerts are scheduled for July 7, July 25, Aug. 4, and Sept. 1.

July 3-4
Family Weekend: Independence Day. Free ice cream floats will be available with paid admission on Saturday the third. On Sunday come celebrate an 1870’s Independence Day.

July 17
History Snapshot: Circuit Court
Be part of the Jury as costumed museum staff recreate court cases from 1870s Iowa.

Aug. 7-8
Family Weekend: Threshing Days. Experience the many methods and machines used to harvest oats and wheat at the historic farms.

Aug. 14
History Snapshot: Pioneer Wedding. Join the 1850 Pioneer Farm staff as they recreate a wedding complete with ceremony, dancing and a wedding cake.

Sept. 4-5
Family Weekend: Farmer’s Fall Carnival. Visit our carnival with music, old-fashioned carnival games, and pony rides. Enjoy a melodrama and the 1875 traveling museum of curiosities.

Sept. 18
Photography Day. Take pictures of the scenic park. Photography experts will be on hand with photo tips and workshops.

Sept. 29 – Oct. 3
Historic Quilt Show. View rarely seen quilts from this nationally recognized quilt collection. The quilts will be displayed in the Church of the Land.

Oct. 2-3
Family Weekend: Harvest Fest. Help museum staff bring in the harvest as you handpick the corn. Afterward you can enjoy a horse-drawn wagon ride and sample fresh apple fritters.

Oct. 21-24 & 28-31
Family Halloween Nights
Dress in your favorite costume and come trick-or-treating in Walnut Hill. Horse-drawn wagon rides, storytellers, marshmallow roasts and much more will complete the experience.

Dec. 11
Prairie Christmas. Celebrate a holiday open house with a prairie feel. Visit with Santa Claus. Participate in an old-fashioned church social and ride in a horse-drawn wagon.

Demotivational Poster: Starfleet Headquarters

The rest of the fleet is off somewhere else. Don’t forget to pick up some cat litter while you’re at it.

This sounds suspiciously like every quest my GM has ever sent the party on….  Your party is the only one who can defeat the evil bugblatter troll of the nether forest.

Demotivational Poster: The Undiscovered Country

We’re not getting older. We’re getting better.
Second star to the right and straight on til morning.

Demotivational Poster: Common Sense

On the other hand when the GM whimpers, shakes his head and places it in his hands, you know you’ve done something right.

Demotivational Poster: Spock & McCoy Racism?

Is it racism to tell it like it is?  Though we know for a fact that Spock was the son of an Earthwoman who most definitely was NOT a b****

Demotivational Poster: Nomad

This sounds suspiciously like the last quest our DM sent us on.